The Girl on the Train is a slog of a movie with pretensions of quality that it is just sordid… but not sordid enough. It wants to be artistic but it’s telling a sleazy kind of story that’s also a … Continue reading
Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life is a kid’s comedy that isn’t targeted at me and doesn’t care if I like it. That’s fine, but it could still have been a decent movie (and I’m betting no one … Continue reading
Checked out Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, the new Tim Burton movie based on a novel of the same name. I read that novel and it’s a fine premise that was kind of poorly written so I was hoping … Continue reading
Checked out a Thursday showing of the new disaster movie Deepwater Horizon starring Mark Whalberg, Kate Hudson, Kurt Russell, and evil John Malkovich. This is the story of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig that exploded in 2010, killing a number … Continue reading
The new movie When the Bough Breaks is a chillingly uninteresting assault of mind-numbing, gut-wrenching, brain-bloating non-action. This is a line borrowed from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and I used that audio clip during the boot-up sequence of Windows 3.1 … Continue reading
Checked out the third Bridget Jones movie Bridget Jones’s Baby (or Bridget Jones’ Baby as civilized people would punctuate it). It was ok, I guess. It was fine, I suppose. It’s a movie that happened, kind of bored me but … Continue reading
Checked out an early showing of the remake of The Magnificent Seven. I won’t spend time comparing this to the 1960s version (itself a remake of an Akira Kurosawa movie) since I don’t have any emotional attachment to that old … Continue reading
Also checked out Snowden, the new film about Edward Snowden starring Joseph Gordon Levitt and Shalieen Woodley. It’s a rather long retelling of the adult career and life of Ed Snowden in the CIA, NSA, and other intelligence agencies leading … Continue reading
Checked out Blair Witch, the canonical sequel to the Blair Witch Project. It’s technically the third movie in the series but Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 barely counts and was more of a meta-sequel that investigated the real-life events … Continue reading
And finally checked out The Light Between Oceans, a new movie at the theaters starring Michael Fassbender, Alicia Vikander, and Rachel Weisz. I had no idea what this movie was going in but had the impression that maybe it had … Continue reading