For the first half of Platform 2, I was wondering what all the negativity was about. I kind of loved the first film for its simple social metaphor. It was a Twilight Zone / Black Mirror type message film but … Continue reading
I read Salem’s Lot back in the 80s or 90s. It’s very early Stephen King and I guess it wasn’t bad, but it was kind of unmemorable too. In fact, it’s so unmemorable, I totally forgot there was a 3 … Continue reading
Apartment 7A is a moribund waste of time. Ironically, if it were just a straight up remake of Rosemary’s Baby, it’d have been more watchable. But instead they base it on some irrelevant backstory and then proceed to basically tell … Continue reading
The biggest problem with Monster Summer isn’t that it’s a children’s horror movie, it’s the misleading advertising. This isn’t a movie about monsters at all… no werewolves, no creatures from black lagoons, no Frankenstein’s whatever, not even a particularly nasty … Continue reading
They can’t fool me… Azrael is the name of a cat. But maybe this flick has a deep backstory where Smurf-loving parents named their first born daughter after an evil cat? Maybe… but that assumes this frickin’ movie has a … Continue reading
Hell is a tween girl, I guess? Or, better yet, Hello God, It’s Me Zafreen (and my demon buddy). I mean, beware the girl in class who gets her period first… she’s probably possesed by SATAN! Tiger Stripes is about … Continue reading
Here After is a morose, ponderous sink into gloomy filmmaking that thinks its profound and original but is neither. It’s about a mother with a teenage daughter who dies for twenty minutes and then miraculously recovers. But is who comes … Continue reading
To be fair, Never Let Go is probably more a victim of how many times I’ve seen this exact premise over the past few years. But, that said, maybe they don’t have to regurgitate the same gimmick over and over … Continue reading
Dear lord… I think I’m traumatized. I’ve been on this Earth a long time and I’ve seen some seriously messed up movies… but The Substance might just be the most f’ed up thing I’ve ever seen in a theater. To … Continue reading
In that Beetlejuice Beetlejuice works at all is a goddamn miracle of direction. It’s so bloated with plots, subplots, characters, side characters, cameos, villains, and new ideas that I’m still not sure if they resolved everything. The plot synopsis? Where … Continue reading