Someone Like You is bizarre. It doesn’t realize how unnaturally weird it is. It thinks it’s earnest and romantic when it’s actually creepy and gross. It seems to have been written by someone who doesn’t understand humans and directed by … Continue reading
Maybe I was in a crabby mood because I was supposed to be at theater watching a very different movie instead of a generic overlit Christmas rom-com… but I really had a long time watching this flick. A bad time … Continue reading
Girl Haunts Boy was a possibility for spooky season since, y’know: Ghosts. But it looked more like a dopey rom-com so I put it off. But Netflix beckons and on my way to catching up with all the non-spooky movies … Continue reading
The Demon Disorder is a little mumblypegs nonsense exorcism movie that’s largely just murky and confusing… but at least it does something different. Even if that something largely feels like the demo real for a practical effects guru. It’s about … Continue reading
Apartment 7A is a moribund waste of time. Ironically, if it were just a straight up remake of Rosemary’s Baby, it’d have been more watchable. But instead they base it on some irrelevant backstory and then proceed to basically tell … Continue reading
Subservience begins as a hugely uneventful sci-fi drama, turns into a low-brow erotic thriller, and ends up the exact same battle with the AI bot you’ve seen before. It does none of this well and does most of it boring. … Continue reading
Apollo 13: Survival sounds like an Asylum knockoff of Ron Howard’s Apollo 13 from 1995. And compared to that movie, it might as well be. If you’ve seen that far superior ’95 film, there’s very little reason to bother with … Continue reading
Uwe Boll?!!? Didn’t he retire a few years ago? But he’s back and not directing another video game adaptation. I watched First Shift out of morbid curiosity: had the auteur of classics like BloodRayne and Alone in the Dark found … Continue reading
Detained is a single location thriller that’s allegedly full of mental twists and turns… except it’s largely predictable and obvious. It’s an utter failure at the one thing it needs to be: surprising. It’s about a woman brought into a … Continue reading
It occurs to me that this recent string of veteran actresses (Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Lilly Tomlin, Kathy Bates, etc.) in these screw-around while nothing happens comedies is just the female side of the geezer teaser phenomenon where older actors … Continue reading