Underworld: Blood Wars is, some how, the fifth film in a largely, “meh, whatever” series of action/horror/leather vampire vs. werewolf movies starring (usually) Kate Beckinsale and a weirdly good cast of British actors. This new film follows a fourth film that I, until last night, had completely forgotten until I saw a YouTube video about it. It all – or some of it anyway – flooded back and I guess it was a good reminder since the new film continues this series of movies inexplicable desire for continuity. It’s almost cute that the producers think people care enough about the story and historical cannon of these movies to keep it going. Though, that said, this new movie seems to have forgotten there was a war between humans and the vamps/lycans from the fourth movie.
Anyhow, Blood Wars picks up some time after the last film – the vamps and werewolves are still feuding and Beckinsale wants none of this since her boyfriend is dead and their hybrid daughter is missing. Meanwhile, Tris and Four keep trying to get over that wall in Chicago, Bella is still on the run from the Volturi, Dani is getting ready to invade Westeros, and Frodo keeps trying to chuck that ring into Mount Doom. Or something. I dunno.
I’ll give this movie credit – they have changed directors and you can’t really tell the difference. This new movie looks and sounds exactly as rainy, blue-tinged, and super-serious (without realizing it is ridiculous) as the other films. So kudos to continuity. The action is about the same… which is to say, slow-mo-riddled, confusing itself with The Matrix, full of leather, and people growling at each other (because, you know, vamps vs. werewolves). To some credit, there is one good action fight scene on the ice with completely CGI versions of Beckinsale and a werewolf (this is right after they run into the clan of northern vampires doing Danaerys Targaryen cosplay).
In theory, I should like these movies but I just don’t. They take themselves so seriously but they are nothing but long dialog exposition scenes followed by half-hearted, tolerable action, bad visual FX, lots of rain in dark, dreary places. And a lot of leather. Give Kate Beckinsale some credit – she still looks great in that leather outfit which means she can still get that Underworld paycheck.
So, yeah, don’t bother unless you are an Underworld completionist or would really like to jump into the mediocre continuation of a mediocre series that probably doesn’t need to try so hard yet really needs to try harder at its scripts. At least I can say its better than some of the other movies in the series – I wasn’t bored as much as I have been in previous films. That’s a plus, I guess.
Score: 68