Meg 2: The Trench

In my review of The Meg, I groused that it wasn’t half as fun as the marketing suggested. That they took themselves too seriously. And the first half of The Meg 2 follows in the same boat (submersible?). But then they flip the switch and the movie goes all out in a gangplank of stupid 47 meters deep.

The Meg 2 picks up after the events of the first film… I guess. Jason Statham and a bunch of other randos are studying the mysteries of The Trench. But things go wrong on a descent and our heroes have to survive… damn… just about everything, I guess.

This movie exists in two halves with the first half being more of an undersea adventure than a shark movie. Which, honestly, I would have preferred, if only it were a good undersea adventure. But it kind of isn’t… it’s taking itself too serious and barely remembers there are megalodons out there. The characters are hard to recognize in their gear and the action is borderline incomprehensible.

The film was sinking to a negative review… until, in my opinion, the actual movie starts an hour in. Once our heroes reach the surface, the flick turns into a giant monster all-out attack. It whiplashes into goofy town, shedding the self-serious attitude and tossing aside any pretense at being anything but a pile of stupid fun.

It’s Jason Statham vs. a giant shark vs. mercenaries vs. comic relief vs. prehistoric lizards vs. clueless vacationers vs. giant octopus. All at once in a big whirlpool, the silliness intercutting at breakneck, unapologetic speeds. And then they include winks to Jaws friggin’ 2… so three cheers for acknowledging imperfection.

The flick is having too much fun tossing all the creatures and dummies into a mixing bowl and I was having just as much fun watching it. I ain’t got no excuse because this movie is ten pounds of stupid in a five pound bag. If you don’t grin ear to ear, I understand. You have to overcome the first half and be willing to let the stupid second half nibble your exposed creature feature toes.

Maybe the movie doesn’t deserve  such a high rating… I should be a sober cineaste and acknowledge a movie so at odds with its halves doesn’t deserve such a high rating. But my inner thirteen year old just gave me a wedgie so I guess we’re going with it.

Score: 84