OK, so maybe I wasn’t expecting a heartbreaking work of staggering genius when I sat down to watch this film, but I didn’t expect to dislike it. But as I sat there trapped in my movie theater seat, the feeling of unimpressed and unamused discomfort crawled over me. Was this really the movie that’s gotten such great review scores? What is wrong with me?

So Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent stars Nicholas Cage as himself, a actor of some talent who maybe isn’t landing the best roles lately. Out of the need to pay his exorbitant bills, he takes a gig to show up at a birthday for a wealthy Italian man. But he’s quickly co-opted by a couple of CIA agents who inform him that the man is an international arms dealer. Only Nicholas Cage can help them crack the case.

It’s a fine idea for a film that just wasn’t executed well. I just didn’t think the meta joke was played remotely strong enough. It plays around with the persona of Cage as a serious actor, as a gonzo actor, and as an action star… but it never really laughs at it or Hollywood in general. The film feels to reverential to be a good satire or parody.

Probably because there’s no part of Cage that really feels ashamed of starring in a lot of recent shitty low-budget films. He probably loves every minute of them… or he just doesn’t want to burn bridges. Dude has to keep acting in Hollywood so probably didn’t want to go too deep.

So we’re left with a movie whose primary joke is “hah hah. It’s Nicholas Cage” and that’s about it. I laughed occasionally at some of the ribbing but mainly I was just going through the motions of watching a movie going through the motions. I just didn’t think it was this grand goof on Hollywood celebrity or action films or even Nicholas Cage’s less impressive acting choices.

In fact the title “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent” has more to do with the meta joke than anything actually on screen. It’s misplaced, more a joking nod to Cage’s presence in the film than anything in the actual script.

Given how this is such a darling of film fans, I must surely be mistaken in this surprisingly negative reaction. Probably just go see the movie regardless since the majority of people are loving it. I wish I was one of them as this type of comedy and meta humor is exactly what I should have loved.

Score: 68