I sat through this movie wishing I was watching Existenz instead (or The Fly, but this has iconography more similar to gristle guns and fleshy control pods). Maybe I was missing the point, taking things too literally… maybe this is … Continue reading
The biggest sin Brazen commits is being no more scandalous than an awkward teenage boy noticing the lingerie while walking through Target. It <i>thinks</i> it’s being naughty or <clutches pearls> sleazy, but it’s really just a Halloween costume. It’s an … Continue reading
Princess Switch 3 – the 2021 Christmas present from this dumb franchise – decides it doesn’t want to be a wacky romantic comedy OR a dumb con-woman flick. No, now it has delusions of being a heist film. Someone has … Continue reading
I sometimes wonder why I do this to myself… why we do this to ourselves. Odds were very low this was going to be a good movie, yet I hit play with hope that this movie, this time I’ll have stumbled upon a diamond … Continue reading
Ron’s Gone Wrong asks the all-important question: What if Baymax was an aggravating dick? Happily, this movie answers that question: It’d be teeth-gratingly annoying and make me physically ill. Yay. Ron’s Gone Wrong is about a megacorporation that releases personalized … Continue reading
In no governance, social contract, business dealing, association, casual understanding, or agreement should this damn movie have been 2 hrs 15 minutes long. That’s just cruelly indulgent and frustrating and oh my god make it stop! Not since the good … Continue reading
Wow. This movie is what happens when someone thinks they understand what the hu-mans want in a cerebral scientifical fictionalized account for motion picture films. Risen is about a small town in Pennsylvania that gets hit by a meteorite, poisoning … Continue reading
I guess the deluge of half and 1 star reviews wasn’t clue enough for me to stay away from this turkey. But why would I start saving my time and sanity by NOT watching bad films, amiright? The Resort is … Continue reading
To crib from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, this movie is hereby subtitled, “Pigging out at the All-You-Can-Eat Moron Bar.” Which is kind of sad since I thought everything that happens up to the first shark attack is pretty good. Decent … Continue reading
First Date is a desperate film. Desperately trying to be hip, edgy, daring, and funny but coming off as a trying way WAY too hard. It reminds me of a copy of a copy of a 90s era post Pulp … Continue reading