Now, I’m not the biggest fan of the Ice Age series. I enjoyed the first one, find the rest pretty mediocre. But wow… they look amazing compared to this dreck from the fine folks running Disney+. Sure, giveth us the Mandalorian and taketh away with this joke of a movie. What did we ever do to you?

<deep breath>The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild is, I guess, a spin off of the Ice Age series. Crash and Eddie, the two possums who I assure you I most definitely remember from the last movie (movies?) star in this flick. They go back to the lost dinosaur kingdom and… something something Buck Wild… fight the evil dinosaurs. I dunno. Does it matter?

This flick replaces all the cast… probably not because they didn’t want to come back, but because they would have been too expensive. Ray Romano would have cost too much. How do I know? Because decent fur simulation costs too much. The ability to create CGI creatures with depth and texture costs too much. Hell, a decent script was outside their budget.

And apparently Scrat was too expensive for them too. Or perhaps they thought using him and his acorn in this turkey would have tarnished the character.

On the positive side, at least Disney hasn’t gone back to its own well of animated properties like they did in the 90s with those terrible direct-to-video sequels. No, now they have access to all new old Fox franchises that they can abuse.

This movie makes me appreciate the latest Hotel Transylvania in comparison. Somehow Amazon did better than Disney+. Hell, this makes the Home Alone sequel from last Christmas look good in comparison. And them’s fighting words!

I’m sure little kids – I mean really little, really dumb kids – will enjoy this. I’m sure the various animals will say something that will make them giggle and repeat it indefinitely to their exasperated parents. I’m sure they won’t notice how bad the film looks because everything looks good when you’re five. For the rest of us, I’m sure one of those other sequels that I honestly totally completely 100% remember in great detail is better.

Score: 53