Pale Blue Eye, The

Ugh. The Pale Blue Eye was a job of work to trudge through. An interesting story told in the most uninteresting of ways… a sludge, a cludge. Starkly beautiful to look at but a sucking mire of pacing and revelations.

The flick stars Christian Bale as a detective in the early 19th century investigating the death of a cadet at a US military school. He’s joined by a literal young Edgar Allen Poe, also a cadet, as they try to solve the murder… and the desecration of the corpse.

It took me about four viewing sessions to get through this film. Never a good sign in itself. Also not good signs:

-> When you get to the natural conclusion of the movie and then shout “why is there another 30 minutes of this thing to go?”.
-> When it’d be nice if someone came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. Maybe then I could pause and go see who it was.
-> Or when you’re approaching ten minutes to go and start hoping this will have a classic Netflix ten minute end credits… please, please, please! YES… goes to credits with 9 minutes to spare!

But the thing is, the actual mystery? Not too bad. It goes from grounded mystery to kind of batshit insane and then back to plodding though. The final revelation – while interesting – could not be told at a more glacial, wet socks pace. Why does this movie trudge so tirelessly from plot point to plot point? I get it… everyone is sad and depressed and this world would explode if a bright color graced the screen, but still… maybe speak faster or something?

Also, Edgar Allen Poe’s inclusion causes a problem. There’s a sequence where his life is in danger… and, yeah, he doesn’t get eaten by the eels at this time (I’m explaining it to you since you look nervous). Kind of a mistake to put a man who hasn’t written all his great works in mortal peril. I’ve seen how this ends.

I just can’t enjoy for this sluggard of a movie. It’s not the first movie by this director that has clomped along like Frankenstein’s monster with cement galoshes. I wish I could raise the score for the stark desolation of the landscape or the acting, but they just served to weigh me down even further.

Score: 68