Because I was battling the hungries and I’d already seen everything else at the theater, I had to get out of the house and go see a movie to keep me away from snacks. So it was either the One Direction movie or Planes… so I saw Planes (sorry to disappoint).

I’d avoided Planes up til now because I didn’t care… I found Cars mediocre and Cars 2 pretty bad and this isn’t even from Pixar.

Planes is super generic, by-the-numbers story with dumb jokes and even more mysterious questions about the world of cars… they have a NYC… do they have a World Trade Center and if not, why not? They mention JFK airport… did they have a JFK car that was assassinated? They have a WW2 fighter plane who talks about the war… and we see flashbacks where the destroyers and aircraft carriers are also sentient… so this world had a World War fought by talking airplanes… so was there a Hitler Car? Did the thinking Japanese airplanes bomb Pearl Harbor? The hero of this movie is a crop duster… why is he dusting crops? Cars and planes don’t eat crops…

All of these questions are far, far, far more interesting than the movie itself… and I had plenty of time to think about it during the generic sludge of this movie. It’s like Turbo… except Turbo was actually a pretty good movie that someone put some effort into. I think I should have seen the One Direction movie instead… that has one more dimension than this movie had (ba-DUM!)

Score: 58