I have zero nostalgia for the first Space Jam movie. It was a 90s flick that came and went, only memorable for its basic premise and actors/cameos. So I’m not coming into the sequel with any reverence for the property. Or, frankly, for LeBron James himself… who is he now? The one who kept pissing off Northern Ohio? Ok got it. And he plays basketball? Got it. This is how much I care.

Was that Daphne and Fred from Scooby Doo in the background?

The new Space Jam stars LeBron as he tries to deal with his youngest boy who is more interested in game programming (<insert E3 marketing here>) than basketball. So… Don Cheadle is an evil Warner Brothers algorithm that LeBron disses… so he kidnaps Lebron’s kid and then scans LeBron himself into the computer and makes him play basketball? But instead he first exiles him to Tune world for some reason where he finds Bugs Bunny. Together they recruit other Warner Brothers stars to play basketball for the fate of humanity? Or at least the ones scanned into the computer? Something, something, roll the dice.

Oh, hey, it’s Yacko, Wacko, and Dot!

I think there were a lot of writers for this movie who just decided they’ll do whatever since logic and reason don’t matter in a Looney Tunes movies. And, hey, fair point I guess? I don’t know.

Oh wow… two versions of the Penguin AND Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman. Neat.

The biggest thing you’ll notice in this flick is that Warner Brothers is (justifiably if cockily) proud of all their IP. Since this movie is basically an advertisement for all their properties and for LeBron James. And, early on, that’s honestly kind of fun, even though it feels a little icky at the same time. But we get LeBron and Bugs going to DC world, Game of Thrones land, into The Matrix, over to Casablanca, into Fury Road, and so forth. If WB’s name is on it, it’ll be in this film somewhere.

Was that Pennywise the Clown?

All this WB marketing ultimately makes the movie feel like a shameless self promotion. Even Disney doesn’t go this hard on its own IP. And I got to wondering why it didn’t bug me as much in other WB products like Ready Player One and The Lego Movie. Maybe because those are already based on a property that made the connections first and this is just WB patting itself on the back? Not sure.

Hey, is that a Warboy from Mad Max: Fury Road? I guess it is… probably be cooler if WB OK’ed a sequel to that than this flick…

But, honestly, I was thankful for the explosion of pop culture references since that was the only thing propping this movie up. The movie is decent enough for the first hour but the final hour (yes, two hours of Space Jam) when they get to the “basketball” game, just goes on forever. And nothing has any basis in any reality and that’s with full understanding we’re dealing with the Looney Tunes. This isn’t basketball or anything related to any sport or our understanding of how to build a suspenseful sports game in a movie. It’s all nonsense ADHD random scenes.

Who are those pirates? What IP do they belong to? Because my brain says they should be from Pirates of the Caribbean but that’s a whole other giant IP megacorporation…

And the game is surrounded by WB characters as fans… so I was distracted and actively looking at the IP instead of caring about the story or the game. And there’s a lot to see… multiple versions of The Penguin, Robin, Batman, Joker Henchmen from Batman 89, The Mystery Machine and Daphne, The Iron Giant and Kong, Pennywise the Clown, Warboys from Fury Road, and… very inexplicably, Droogs from A Clockwork Orange. Not all of them looking great and almost all of them seemingly on an animation loop. And the game goes on so long even looking for unique WB characters got boring.

Was that Trinity from the Matrix? Does that make the guy in a black suit an Agent? Or maybe one of the Men in Black? Is Men in Black a WB property?

I guess there’s a decent message about how fathers can heap expectations on their sons. And maybe they should listen to what their kids want. And there’s some messages that hold up about learning the fundamentals and getting great on your own merits. Ironic for a movie that cribs so much better pop culture to prop up its own big screen advertisement. But, hey, wouldn’t be the first hypocritical message in a kids film.

Hey… are those the Monstars from the first Space Jam?

The movie is a mess but I thought it’s first half was at least watchable. And it’s always nice to see the Looney Tunes in action… and the other WB references can be fun. LeBron doesn’t impress… as an actor, he makes for a great basketball player (though you’ll have to take their word since even that’s not on display in this movie). I can’t recommend anything here unless you’re a superfan of… well… of any of these IPs.

Score: 66