Ugh. The Pale Blue Eye was a job of work to trudge through. An interesting story told in the most uninteresting of ways… a sludge, a cludge. Starkly beautiful to look at but a sucking mire of pacing and revelations. … Continue reading
When is a dog movie not a dog movie? When the dog in the dog movie vanished for 90% of the film, leaving us not following the dog on his harrowing cross-country journey home, but the boring, apparently jobless family … Continue reading
I Wanna Dance with Somebody is probably best watched by Whitney Houston stans. I am not one of them. I like her just fine but never got on the bandwagon. Keep that in mind while I go off on this … Continue reading
As someone who doesn’t like to think the only good horror is An Evil Dead on Saw Street Part 13: Chuck’s Death Day in Texas, I should shut up and admire an eerie, atmospheric haunted film like The Eternal Daughter. … Continue reading
Darby and the Dead is, in theory, a fun mashup of a high school comedy and an “I see dead people” supernatural tale. Unfortunately, it barely has any original ideas of its own so the tired high school tropes and … Continue reading
Violent Night is a Christmas action/comedy flick with action that isn’t very good and comedy that isn’t very funny. Santa Claus has had enough of your bullshit. One drunken Christmas Eve, he’s delivering presents to a mansion when it comes … Continue reading
Code Name Banshee is one hell of a schizophrenic movie. It starts with a laughably bad action scene and I pretty much wrote it off as Z grade cinema. And then Antonio Banderas shows up and suddenly the non-action drama … Continue reading
I started watching this one fully expecting to hate it given the aggressively downward trajectory of the franchise. And at first I was as sneeringly dismissive as I was with the terrible third flick. But then… you know… this movie … Continue reading
If I were to rate The Cellar exclusively on one of it’s ideas, it’d be a stellar rave. But that idea is so subsumed by mediocre attempts at atmosphere and scares that no amount of clever inception can make this … Continue reading
Abandoned is a movie I thought I liked at first because it has a good actress at its heart and it seems to know how to present suspenseful moments. But those moments all seem to be identical and they go … Continue reading