I played classic text adventures games back in the 80s and they never had the common courtesy to bring me a beer. This is clearly an inaccurate depiction of classic PC games.

What am I even talking about? Choose or Die is a Netflix original about a couple of twenty somethings who are into classic late 70s/early 80s PCs. One of them stumbles on a tape of a text adventure game called Curs>r… which asks you to choose between two cryptic options (or die). Both choices result in some level of torture.

Eh… it’s arguably a good idea for a rather formulaic movie. I appreciated the valiant, if misguided, effort to recreate old 8 bit computer text and graphics. It was never quite right… but tiny text and even more primitive art wouldn’t work for a movie so I’ll allow it. But none of that really matters when it comes down to it – this is just a generic horror flick that hangs generic and random horror scenario on a nostalgic tech hook.

And, hell, maybe only an interesting hook if you have nostalgia for this stuff or if you are into classic computer colleting and repair.

Asa Butterfield is actually the most unsettling part of this movie. When did he become an adult? Jeepers.

One thing I kind of appreciated was during the final act when the main character is facing down a character from the 80s. “Fuck the 80s” she says… and I wondered if that was a twenty-something screenwriter or director talking. As in, maybe it’s time to jones over a later decade. Reminded me of getting annoyed at pop culture worshiping the 60s when I was a teenager. I love the 80s, but maybe its getting a little obnoxious for younger generations.

This is pretty skippable unless you have a thing for classic PCs in which case it might be fun to just see what they get right and wrong. Not really much else to enjoy. I’m giving it a little half star boost just for the unique hook.

Score: 66