What a shock. The movie that sounds like cheap, greedy, trashy exploitation of a lapsed copyright is cheap, greedy trashy exploitation. But the jokes on me since their $2 horror flick got cash money from the rubes that they knew would watch it out of rubbernecking curiosity.
The flick uses the Winnie the Pooh characters to tell us how the beloved characters went feral once Christopher Robin went to college. Now they stalk the 100 Acre Wood with axes and chains and kill young women in gruesome and bloody ways.
If this movie had done more with its premise, leaned in on the satire or the camp value or anything other than basic edge-lord bullshit, then maybe it’d have been watchable. But if the alpha and omega of their desire was to put cheap masks on actors and spray blood everywhere while going “oooh, aren’t we naughty?” then they earn their universal disdain.
I don’t have any great love for the Pooh characters… though I should given my mom’s nickname for me as a kid (ahem). One of the earliest photos I have is of my brother tugging the tail of the Tigger plushie I got for Christmas… which is edgier than this whole movie. So I’m not coming at this film with high-minded indignation. That’s what they want. I’m coming at it for being a total missed opportunity and a cheap, boring, character-free one at that.
It’s basically a cheap slasher with cheap production values and cheap Halloween masks. Pooh and Piglet just look like dudes in masks… and before anyone can shout “it’s a budget movie”, artists have done great prosthetics on the cheap in past movies. At one point one of the actresses say, “That’s not a man” and I’m like, “Yeah, it’s a man in a cheap mask.” Doesn’t look like Pooh, doesn’t look like an actual bear… the guys in the ’60s Planet of the Apes masks are embarrassed for them.
This movie is – to no surprise to anyone – utter trash. Due mainly to it being boring as hell but the bad acting and cheap production values don’t help.
And to the people looking forward to Mickey Mouse falling into the public domain, I give you this movie as Exhibit A. It’s not Disney losing control of a valuable IP, it’s trashmeisters like this making low-effort shit.
Score: 50